Rats, Bats and Vultures, Oh No!

I have a cousin who shall remain nameless. She loves Halloween and throws a costume party every year. Next weekend is the big event and I thought I’d share some pics of what or who her guests will party with.

Entering the house into the kitchen, I am greeted by a not overly icky Fall mantle. She apparently likes rats. Yes, little white mice are cute…in a cage…in a laboratory.  She doesn’t agree and thinks they should reside on the mantle.

Through the doorway on the left you enter the dining room.  Ya’ know…where people dine.

All will be greeted by the Rodent Eating Vulture and more little white rodents. Oh! And snakes & dog bone candle holders. Yes, that is certainly how I’d like to see my Four Star restaurant table set up! “Would you like the Catch of the day, Little White Rat a la Stewart? We also have one special for $22.95, Slimy Black Snake, if you prefer.” Yes…I can’t wait to order.

Gazing across the room trying to avoid staring down the Rodent Eating Vulture & its prey, my eyes rest on the sideboard. Okay, the hat is cute and it dances & sings! My eyes move up and side to side! Just when things were going good! Corpse-like hands holding candles. I don’t want them touching my food! Eyes quickly dart up seeking rest only to find The Shelf of Skulls. One can only wonder if they were previous patrons.


Changing chairs, I hope for a view of fall leaves and pumpkins. But no! The hostess thought a
Jailed Skull with bright blood red eyes would bring my appetite to the fore.  Yes, I have an completely crazy optimistic hostess. Apparently her restaurant’s ambiance isn’t geared toward those with red blood still running.

With a bit of despair, I move my eyes to the last wall. Whew! Birds on a branch, lights, ignore teeny black bats and…stink! Another skull with eyes alight for crying out loud.   Does the hostess really think that skulls make the living want to eat?

Alas, it’s time to visit the Ladies Room and make sure that I still look normal…like having eyeballs in my  eye sockets and that my skin isn’t green or gray. Close the door and turn around! SHE. DID. IT. AGAIN. A spider straight from the movie “Aliens” and Sigourney Weaver is not.at.the.party. Should’ve asked DIY Diva, Kit Stanley, along. She would turn them into grease spots on the floor.

Okay. I will just check my eyeballs and skin tone in the mirror and get out.  But, NO! The Alien Spider is getting ready to have dinner and has it’s eye on a ROACH! Roaches turn my stomach. No entree for me thank you very much. Wash hands. Turn for towel.

And who do we meet face to face? Simon the Skeleton. “Let me assist you, dear.” What? This is a Four Star Ladies Room with a servant now? And is he smiling? Yeah, you can’t trust skeletons. He probably wants a tip, too.  They’re always smiling…always. Zombies are their predecessors…just saying.

I think it’s about time to leave this establishment.  I really would like dessert at least. I wonder if there is some small confection I could slip out with.

Fingers?  There are FINGERS for dessert?

I have a pot of homemade sauce and meatballs at home.  I don’t have skulls, cockroaches, rodents, spiders or vultures. I have bittersweet vine and pressed Fall leaves. Okay…I have a spider here and there, but they die upon sight AND…

I have chocolate…in squares…not fingers. I may snag the bottle of Dracu-wine on the way out. I need it for my sauce. I’ll leave the cape.

Oh! Be grateful I didn’t show you the outdoor pictures.  Yep…be grateful.

Those of you who know me, know I don’t celebrate Halloween nor do I judge those who innocently do so. However, I do like finding the humor in things and the centerpiece is a work of art as is the spider & bat laden chandelier above it. May you all enjoy the bounty of Fall, the Harvest Season…with or without rats, bats & vultures!